As my readers know, I hate to use the word “narcissistic” in my articles, because it’s such an over-used and misunderstood term. We can’t diagnose anyone as being an actual narcissist (which indicates they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder), even if we do recognize their toxic ego-focused traits that cause relational harm to others.
Sometimes, however, the word can’t be avoided, especially when we’re talking about previously-established abuse terms. That’s why, in this article, I’ll be discussing two traits common to those who abuse others: narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage. Most individuals who engage in abusive tactics in order to manipulate and control their relationships do so because of an unconscious learned behavioral pattern caused by a narcissistic injury developed during childhood. A narcissistic injury is created by an early wound to the ego—such as bullying, perceived or real emotional neglect, abandonment, childhood abuse or other trauma. These wounds create what the child feels is a threat to their sense of self and inherent self-worth. It causes them to feel vulnerable—a feeling that creates shame in childhood, and a fighting need for avoidance in adulthood.
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AuthorJenny duBay, Trauma-Informed Christian life coach specializing in healing from betrayal trauma and domestic abuse. |