In my articles and on my website, I use a variety of terms to describe the crazy, traumatic, and often dehumanizing tactics deployed by an abusive personality against his or her target. Many of my readers are familiar with these terms, since they’re common to nearly all abusive relationships. However, a refresher is always good, and if you’re just becoming aware of what’s going on in your life and determined to educate yourself as much as possible, a list of these terms can be very helpful.
However, this list is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg—there are so many more I could mention, but I don’t want the article to run too long. If you have any other terms you’d like to add to the list, please share in the comments.
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How do we let go of a traumatic, disappointing, or abusive past? How can we forgive (including self), release, be healed, and move on?
Sadly, there is no magical wand. Christianity doesn’t offer magic, or the easy way out. Releasing the past doesn’t mean ignoring it, or running from it. Releasing the past means journeying straight through the trauma and the memories in order to reach the other side. And that’s the hard part. None of us are born to be trained in the ways of suffering. Most often we don’t know how to deal with it, which makes the struggle all the more exhausting. It’s like a marathon; you can’t complete the entire race the first time you try. You have to train for it. Train for suffering? That doesn’t sound fun. True. And it’s not fun—but it’s necessary, and can even be enjoyable because of the fragrant fruits to come (Rom. 8:28, Song of Songs 1:3). The reality is, releasing the past means running straight through it—and that’s tiresome. Most of us haven’t built up enough stamina for the entire journey. At some point we get stuck and when we do, it feels like we’ve fallen into the Molasses Swamp. How do we get unstuck? How can we begin to move forward again? |
AuthorJenny duBay, Trauma-Informed Christian life coach specializing in healing from betrayal trauma and domestic abuse. |