First, let's begin at the beginning. What does the Bible say about abuse? Seriously, Jesus was pretty clear on the issue of divorce in Matthew 19. "And I say to you; whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery" (Matt 19:9).
Jesus never mentioned domestic abuse, so apparently it's okay to be a chronic spousal abuser with no remorse or even an awareness of wrongdoing, and that's not a grounds for divorce. Right? Um, no. Wrong. The Church's position on domestic abuse is quite firm and clear.
So what does the Catholic Church tell us about domestic abuse in all its forms (not merely the obviously physical, but also emotional, verbal, and psychological)? Let's start with a crucial document from the USCCB, "When I Call for Help." In this article, the USCCB emphasizes the truth of domestic abuse and that it's abuse, and not divorce, that violates the marital covenant. Nobody should tolerate abuse.
"We emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Violence and not abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage."
Jesus never mentioned domestic abuse, so apparently it's okay to be a chronic spousal abuser with no remorse or even an awareness of wrongdoing, and that's not a grounds for divorce. Right? Um, no. Wrong. The Church's position on domestic abuse is quite firm and clear.
So what does the Catholic Church tell us about domestic abuse in all its forms (not merely the obviously physical, but also emotional, verbal, and psychological)? Let's start with a crucial document from the USCCB, "When I Call for Help." In this article, the USCCB emphasizes the truth of domestic abuse and that it's abuse, and not divorce, that violates the marital covenant. Nobody should tolerate abuse.
"We emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Violence and not abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage."
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"Priests generally do not talk about [domestic abuse]. And most dioceses in the United States have no services, or very limited services, for victims of domestic violence," says Father Charles Dahm, who's leading a campaign in Chicago to change that. This excellent video from PBS speaks candidly on how the Catholic Church is responding to the epidemic of IPV (intimate partner violence). |
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"When you Preach ... Remember Me" is a video from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Experts in the field of domestic violence, priests who have preached about it, and women who have experienced it talk about violence against women in the home, its root causes, and its disastrous effects.
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This excellent homily from Fr. Charles W. Dahm, O.P. of Chicago is a must watch. Extremely and highly recommended! I applaud Fr. Dahm for recognizing domestic abuse in the form of extreme jealousy when one of his parishioners came to him with a complaint of the supposed "infidelity" of his wife. It is so crucial to further educate all priests and support persons within the church as to what domestic abuse looks like, the signs and tactics, and other crucial information (Fr. Dahm is the director of Domestic Violence Outreach for the Archdiocese of Chicago).
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Imago Dei Catholic Spiritual Direction, specializing in companionship for those who seek spiritual renewal and healing after trauma and betrayal. "You Don't Have to Navigate the Spiritual Life Alone."
Catholics for Family and Peace is an organization full of resources and educational material designed to combat domestic violence and provide help for those struggling in abusive relationships.
Helping Victims of Domestic Violence: A document from the USCCB regarding domestic abuse and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Life Matters: Domestic Violence by Frank J. Moncher, Ph.D. from the Diocese of Arlington, VA.
From the USCCB, the podcast "Made for Love," episode 4, "When Love Means Leaving."
Focus Ministries: Faith-Based Domestic Violence Help (not Catholic, but Christian)
Life Matters: Domestic Violence by Frank J. Moncher, Ph.D. from the Diocese of Arlington, VA.
From the USCCB, the podcast "Made for Love," episode 4, "When Love Means Leaving."
Focus Ministries: Faith-Based Domestic Violence Help (not Catholic, but Christian)
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Here's one more video excellent from Fr. Chuck, "Always a Sin, Often a Crime." |
