First, let's begin at the beginning. What does the Bible say about abuse? Seriously, Jesus was pretty clear on the issue of divorce in Matthew 19. "And I say to you; whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman, commits adultery" (Matt 19:9).
Jesus never mentioned domestic abuse, so apparently it's okay to be a chronic spousal abuser with no remorse or even an awareness of wrongdoing, and that's not a grounds for divorce. Right? Um, no. Wrong. The Church's position on domestic abuse is quite firm and clear.
So what does the Catholic Church tell us about domestic abuse in all its forms (not merely the obviously physical, but also emotional, verbal, and psychological)? Let's start with a crucial document from the USCCB, "When I Call for Help." In this article, the USCCB emphasizes the truth of domestic abuse and that it's abuse, and not divorce, that violates the marital covenant. Nobody should tolerate abuse.
"As pastors of the Catholic Church in the United States, we state as clearly and strongly as we can that violence against women, inside or outside the home, is never justified. Violence in any form—physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal—is sinful; often, it is a crime as well. We have called for a moral revolution to replace a culture of violence ... As bishops, we condemn the use of the Bible to support abusive behavior in any form. A correct reading of Scripture leads people to an understanding of the equal dignity of men and women and to relationships based on mutuality and love ... Finally, we emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Violence and not abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage."
Jesus never mentioned domestic abuse, so apparently it's okay to be a chronic spousal abuser with no remorse or even an awareness of wrongdoing, and that's not a grounds for divorce. Right? Um, no. Wrong. The Church's position on domestic abuse is quite firm and clear.
So what does the Catholic Church tell us about domestic abuse in all its forms (not merely the obviously physical, but also emotional, verbal, and psychological)? Let's start with a crucial document from the USCCB, "When I Call for Help." In this article, the USCCB emphasizes the truth of domestic abuse and that it's abuse, and not divorce, that violates the marital covenant. Nobody should tolerate abuse.
"As pastors of the Catholic Church in the United States, we state as clearly and strongly as we can that violence against women, inside or outside the home, is never justified. Violence in any form—physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal—is sinful; often, it is a crime as well. We have called for a moral revolution to replace a culture of violence ... As bishops, we condemn the use of the Bible to support abusive behavior in any form. A correct reading of Scripture leads people to an understanding of the equal dignity of men and women and to relationships based on mutuality and love ... Finally, we emphasize that no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage. Violence and not abuse, not divorce, break up a marriage."
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"Priests generally do not talk about [domestic abuse]. And most dioceses in the United States have no services, or very limited services, for victims of domestic violence," says Father Charles Dahm, who is leading a campaign in Chicago to change that. This excellent video from PBS speaks candidly on how the Catholic Church is responding to the epidemic of IPV (intimate partner violence). |
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"When you Preach ... Remember Me" is a video from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Experts in the field of domestic violence, priests who have preached about it, and women who have experienced it talk about violence against women in the home, its root causes, and its disastrous effects.
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This excellent homily from Fr. Charles W. Dahm, O.P. of Chicago is a must watch. Extremely and highly recommended! I applaud Fr. Dahm for recognizing domestic abuse in the form of extreme jealousy when one of his parishioners came to him with a complaint of the supposed "infidelity" of his wife. It is so crucial to further educate all priests and support persons within the church as to what domestic abuse looks like, the signs and tactics, and other crucial information (Fr. Dahm is the director of Domestic Violence Outreach for the Archdiocese of Chicago).
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Catholics for Family and Peace is an organization full of resources and educational material designed to combat domestic violence and provide help for those struggling in abusive relationships.
The National Council of Catholic Women has provided a book in PDF form entitled WOMEN HEALING THE WOUNDS.
Domestic Violence Outreach from the Archdiocese of Chicago provides a wealth of useful and supporting information, including intimate partner violence, teen dating, how to recognize abuse, and various services.
Catholic FAQs on Divorce and Annulment FAQs, from For your Marriage.
Helping Victims of Domestic Violence: A document from the USCCB regarding domestic abuse and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Life Matters: Domestic Violence by Frank J. Moncher, Ph.D. from the Diocese of Arlington, VA.
How Trauma Impacts the Brain (and how prayer can help) by Theresa Burke, Ph.D., founder of Rachel's Vineyard.
From the USCCB, the podcast "Made for Love," episode 4, "When Love Means Leaving."
Focus Ministries: Faith-Based Domestic Violence Help (not Catholic, but Christian)
Catholic FAQs on Divorce and Annulment FAQs, from For your Marriage.
Helping Victims of Domestic Violence: A document from the USCCB regarding domestic abuse and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Life Matters: Domestic Violence by Frank J. Moncher, Ph.D. from the Diocese of Arlington, VA.
How Trauma Impacts the Brain (and how prayer can help) by Theresa Burke, Ph.D., founder of Rachel's Vineyard.
From the USCCB, the podcast "Made for Love," episode 4, "When Love Means Leaving."
Focus Ministries: Faith-Based Domestic Violence Help (not Catholic, but Christian)
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Here's one more video excellent from Fr. Chuck, "Always a Sin, Often a Crime." |
