"The contemptuous person intends to shame the person he derides." (St. Thomas Aquinas)
What is contempt, and why is it such a traumatic theme in toxic relationships? Why do abusive personalities cling to contempt as if it’s a treasure, rather than a deadly vice that wounds the soul? Why do people who use abuse as a means of control cling to their resentment as if it's something owed to them?
The answer rests in an individual’s choices and motivations. What do they desire, what’s their goal?
I'm Jenny duBay, a domestic abuse survivor and now advocate. My degree is in Christian theology with a concentration on spiritual direction, and my vocational emphasis is on helping those who have suffered from domestic abuse to heal and reclaim their true selves.