I was recently interviewed by Dr. Cynthia Toolin-Wilson of WCAT TV about my upcoming book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Domestic Abuse. I took the title of my book from Jeremiah 4:3 because reflects the truth of abusive relationships; where love is neglected, fruitfulness is impossible unless real change and healing is achieved.
“The Catholic Church defines marriage as a continuous act of mutual self-giving,” I point out in the interview. “That's what marriage should be—a beautiful giving of self because you can be vulnerable. In a marriage you have to be vulnerable; if you can't be vulnerable you don't really have a marriage, and certainly self-giving is impossible. Mutual self-giving is giving your strengths to your partner, and your partner giving his strengths to you; likewise you give your weaknesses so you can share in both. In an abusive relationship you can't give your vulnerability because it will be taken advantage of. You can't show your weaknesses because they will get thrown back in your face. The ability to mutually self-give as the Catholic Church defines marriage is impossible.”
Yet there is hope, there is healing, and change is possible. What does change look like? For a victim of abuse, it’s a metamorphosis from victim to survivor, a renewal of self and soul.
I invite you to listen to my interview with Dr. Cynthia Toolin-Wilson, where we discuss various aspects of domestic abuse and healing.
I'm Jenny duBay, a domestic abuse survivor and now advocate. My degree is in Christian theology with a concentration on spiritual direction, and my vocational emphasis is on helping those who have suffered from domestic abuse to heal and reclaim their true selves.