Covert Child Abuse: When a Child Becomes the Pawn of an Abusive Parent

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This article is a condensed and adapted version of information I included in chapter three of my book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse, published by En Route Books and Media. Available on Amazon or through my website.

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After reading “Under My Thumb: Coercive Control and the Sensitive Victim,” a subscriber sent me an email to tell me that her ex-husband used to blare that same song as often as he could, laughing in a tauntingly cruel way. He’d encourage his children to sing along as if he was playing a carefree, fun game with them. They often did exactly what their dad wanted, not realizing how much they were wounding their mother—after all, they didn’t know he was purposely tormenting her, and they simply wanted his approval.

They didn’t realize he was purposely tormenting her even if they did feel, deep down, that there was something cruel buried inside their father’s “jokes.”

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