• Home
  • Shop
  • Blog
  • Recognizing Domestic Abuse
  • Catholic Resources
  • All About Annulment
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Helpful Links
  • For the Partner Who Wants to Change
  • Substack Blog
  • Don't Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns
  • World Between Worlds
Create Soul Space Domestic Violence Support
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Blog
  • Recognizing Domestic Abuse
  • Catholic Resources
  • All About Annulment
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Helpful Links
  • For the Partner Who Wants to Change
  • Substack Blog
  • Don't Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns
  • World Between Worlds

Create Soul Space Blog

Subscribe

A New Way to Look at Abusive Personalities

8/8/2023

0 Comments

 
Woman with masks multiple personality
(fcscafeine / Canva Photos)
We typically call someone who uses abuse to control or manipulate others an abuser. I certainly have, in countless previous articles, but perhaps there’s a different way we can view these individuals, one that gives us a more charitable perspective as well as relieves some of our cognitive dissonance. 

At the same time, we must always remember that there is no excuse for abuse,and those who use such tactics need to take full responsibility for their choices and actions.

Part of my training to become an inner healing life coach has included the study of a therapeutic method called internal family systems (IFS). Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS suggests that within each of us are many sub-personalities or “families,” such as wounded parts, those parts of us that try to protect us from further hurt, and parts of us that we may not like.

Although our primary self—made in the image and likeness of God—was created as a cohesive whole, we live in a fallen world. We get hurt, we hurt others; we develop addictions or traumas, we feel anxious or ashamed.

​Under the IFS model, we can now separate our core, primary self from our various sub-parts. For example, I’m not an anxious person at the core of my beinghood, but I do have an anxious part, a part that has tried to take over and run the show in an effort to alert me of the emotional danger I was enduring for so long. Now that I’m in a safe place, I no longer need that protector part to be so prominent; I only need her to step forward and alert me to real threats. Part of my own work in healing from trauma has been to create harmony within my nervous system by honoring that part, while integrating it to the background role it deserves—to come out only as a justified warning that something in my life is off-kilter.

Yet how does this idea apply to someone who is abusive in their relationships?


Learn About IFS and Abusive Personalities
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Jenny duBay, Trauma-Informed Christian life coach specializing in healing from betrayal trauma and domestic abuse. 

    Archives

    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021

    Picture
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Blog
  • Recognizing Domestic Abuse
  • Catholic Resources
  • All About Annulment
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Helpful Links
  • For the Partner Who Wants to Change
  • Substack Blog
  • Don't Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns
  • World Between Worlds