(2) Don't Plant Your Seeds: Chapter One

Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic Guide on Domestic Abuse:
Chapter One: An Overview of Domestic Abuse

When the topic domestic violence is mentioned, people often visualize black eyes, broken bones and clenched fists. However, manipulation and control over another individual takes many forms. Domestic abuse can violate a person not only physically but emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, sexually and financially.

Bruises, broken bones and smashed faces shout obvious violence, traumatic for the victim and outwardly visible. A broken spirit isn’t as visible, and bruises to the soul are easily buried with a false smile and cover-up stories to hide the truth. Yet in a multitude of studies and interviews, survivors have consistently affirmed that emotional, psychological and verbal abuse are even more traumatic than broken bones. All forms of abuse leave scars and bruises in the soul.
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These destructive actions aren’t isolated events. Everyone makes mistakes, saying and doing things they later come to regret. They soon recognize their slip-ups, make genuine reparation, and don’t repeat the toxic behavior. An abusive relationship, on other hand, is a pattern of attitudes and actions that create a confusing, terrifying, fragile and crazy-making atmosphere within what should be the sacred space of the home. The abuse is repeated, again and again. Even if months go by with no obvious incident, eventually the same pattern reappears—and, as the years go by, the pattern reappears with increasing frequency. Some examples of domestic abuse include:  ​

• Name-calling and insults
  
• Extreme and controlling jealousy
  
• Constant criticism, both overt and covert
  
• Threats to kill or harm one's partner, children or pets
  
• Destruction of property
  
• Forced vaccination, sterilization or abortion
  
• Sexual assault or coercion
  

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