This week we have a guest blogger! I'm thrilled to give you this article from Dave DuBay, who provides us a guy perspective on the true secret behind authentic masculinity.
Hannibal Lecter is an iconic movie villain. He’s sophisticated and refined. His education, eloquence, and etiquette reflect the trappings of civilization. Well, except for the cannibalism part. So no one would call Hannibal Lecter a civilized man.
On the other hand, Hagrid—the half giant from the Harry Potter book and movie series—is not refined. He looks like a caveman. But he is a friend to children and magical creatures. So people might disagree on whether he’s a civilized man.
Which movie icon, though, would you want to hang out with?
What does it mean to be civilized? No one would claim that “boys will be boys” promotes civilized behavior—quite the opposite. Related to this is the concern about “toxic masculinity” and the proposed solution of redefining masculinity.
But what does redefined masculinity look like? We often hear words like vulnerable, nurturing, and empathic bandied about. Certainly these are positive traits. But another cultural stereotype is the insipid “nice guy” who, seeming to have lost his élan, listlessly wanders through life.
I'm Jenny duBay, a domestic abuse survivor and now advocate. My degree is in Christian theology with a concentration on spiritual direction, and my vocational emphasis is on helping those who have suffered from domestic abuse to heal and reclaim their true selves.