Beware of the “Soul Mate”: Love-Bombing, Grooming, and Early Abuse Tactics

(Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

One of the first casualties suffered by someone with an abusive partner is the silencing of her inner peace as well as her once-reliable and trusted intuition. Perhaps you can relate: without even realizing what was happening, covertly and under the radar, your sense of self became whittled away. In your “previous life” you were full of hope, faith, love and trust—but now all that seems to have vanished, particularly the trust in self.

How could you have been so wrong? How could your intuition have let you down so tragically?

(Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash)

When you first met him, you were completely sure--from the moment he said “hello”—that he was the one for you. It was a bit like a fairy tale, or a romantic Hollywood movie.

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Love at first sight.

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He seemed to really get you like no one else ever had—he even told you that, so it must be true. I mean, seriously. Guys aren’t usually so sensitive and open about their feelings, are they? 
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But he was. Because he’d never felt this way toward any other woman—no matter how many he’d been with. He’d been so raw, so open, so vulnerable -- and you’d fallen face first in love.

But now ...

Attention has turned into obsessive jealousy and control, false accusations and demeaning comments. His “likes” have changed, but then again so have yours—because yours have to match his at all times. If they don’t … Well. Best not to wake that sleeping monster. It’s easier just to agree. Less painful, less traumatic.

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